Gruel

(Boys Chorus)

Gruel! Gruel! Gruel! Gruel!

Can’t they give us something else for dinner?

Something boiled or baked or fried or stewed

Growing up but getting only thinner

All we ever think about is food.

There’s a roast in the kitchen we’d like to eat

The thought makes our stomachs rumble

If we sneak into the kitchen we’d be sure to meet

Ugly Corney or fatty grumble Bumble

All day long we smell what they are cooking

Food we’d like to taste but never will

We’re so tired of sitting by and looking

Once, just once we’d like to eat our fill.

Eat our fill! Eat our fill!

We have dreams of a puddin’ and hot beef pie

Will our dreams come true we wonder

While we’re dying for muffins piled up high,

At the same time we’re dying here of hunger

Can’t they give us something else for dinner?

Something boiled or baked or fried or stewed

Growing up but getting only thinner

All we ever think about is food.

Lovely food! Lots of food! Lots of food!

We Undertake

(Mr. Sowerberry and Mr. Sowerberry, Senior)

You know someone who’s dyin’

But you’re no good at cryin’

Call us right away

And if you will pay

We’ll do the grievin’ for you.

We’ll nail ‘im up in a coffin

And then a procession we lead

So sadly, but gladly

That the public our services need

We undertake, we undertake

There’s no one who we don’t un-der-take

We lead them to the grave sadly

Lawyer, thief, merchant, or rake

Gigantic or small, we bury them all

When we undertake

Our customers all are pliant

We never lose a client

If they’re not alive when they arrive

How can they ever complain?

It’s really a talent you’re born with

To shed crocodile tears

But we can, and if he can

He’s got a future right here.

He’ll undertake, he’ll undertake

We’ll start him out small, the children he’ll undertake

And how not to cry like a fake

Whenever he grieves, he must be believed

When he undertakes

(Bumble) : I don’t find these thoughts amusin’

(Mr. Sowerberry) But death just comes, no choosin’

You never can tell, when we toll the bell

The funeral may be for you.

At least you will be in good hands

Our reputation is high

We’re soulful and woeful

So don’t be afraid to die

We undertake, we undertake

There’s no one who we don’t eventually undertake

We lower you down so sadly

We seldom make a mistake

Gigantic or small, we’ll bury you all

When we undertake!

Can There Be a Someone

(Oliver)

Can there be a someone?

Someone who wants me

Will I ever hear a voice speak tenderly?

I wonder if someone will ever come

Take my hand and say

‘You’re home at last

Here’s every dream come true

You’ve found someone who always will love you!’

Where’s someone to love me?

How I wonder where?

Surely there must be someone

Who’ll want to care?

I hope that someday soon

I’ll turn around—

Suddenly I’ll see

Someone who’ll smile

And I will know

Here’s love for me

I wish I knew

When will that someday be?

I Know You’ll Be Welcome

(Dodger) I know you’ll be welcome

And right at home you bet!

I’m sure you’ll like it

Just move in an’ take it

Who cares for et-i-quette?

Though we don’t all know from

Where we originate,

It don’t matter ‘cuz we’re happy

If we all are pals

So just say you’re our mate.

Now come along and join our friendly social club for boys

Dues and obligations ain’t so high

You’ll share the same advantages each one of us enjoys

Ga blimey, gov, you know I’d never lie.

(at this point all the boys come running out and join in)

I know you’ll be welcome

And right at home you bet!

I’m sure you’ll like it

Just move in an’ take it

Who cares for et-i-quette?

Though we don’t all know from

Where we originate,

It don’t matter ‘cuz we’re happy

If we all are pals

So just say you’re our mate.

Play Our Game

(Boys Chorus)

Play our game; play our game; Play our favorite game

Now if Fagin you mind, you will learn to sneak behind

Then you reach right in, never know what you will find.

And you won’t get caught if you learn what you are taught

Oh its lots of fun, you will find.

Little Boy, now don’t you cry. What’s the matter with your eye?

Is there something in your eye? Now just stand still and I will try

To get the cinder out right away.

Who says crime doesn’t pay:

Play our game; play our game; Play our favorite game

There is something that you see; Just a kite caught in a tree

Or a little hummingbird; Perchance a Chickadee

Oh I really wish you’d tell, for I cannot see too well

(spoken) And I wonder what it might be

Just look over to the right, You’re standing in our light

You’re standing in our light; There it is now clear and bright

Too bad! It just went out of sight.

(spoken) Pay attention in class, Oliver! If at first you don’t succeed, try again.

Oh I’m very unaware and I haven’t any cares

I’m a rich and noble gent, very gay and debonair

I’m out for a stroll, such a very trusting soul

You will find me quite unprepared

(Dodger lands on his back) OI!

Sorry Sir, what can I say, but you got in our way

Yes you got in our way; (Dodger sings) I’ll get off without delay

Unless you prefer that I stay.

(The boys split into two groups, one group sings “Sorry Sir…”

while the other group sings “Play Our Game”

and Fagin sings “Oh I’m very unaware…”)

(Fagin speaks) Oh, my merry men!

Play our game; play our game; Play our favorite game

Here’s the Way to Be a Swell

(Dodger) Here’s the way to be a swell

Tilt your head like somethin’ smells

Never curse, it ain’t nice

Tho’ your blinkin’ nag just lost the rice!

(Toby) Put in aitches where they ain’t

Beat your Missus with restraint

Mustn’t dunk your cake at tea

It’s not done in ‘igh society.

(Dodger) If you meet your lady friend

You must treat ‘er like old china

Never pinch ‘er wee beam end

Tho you should ‘ave a mind ta!

(Toby) First you tip your topper so

Then you sort of stub your toe

(Dodger) Who on earth could ever tell

I ain’t a bloomin’ swell?

(All the boys) Here’s the way to be a swell

Tilt your head like somethin’ smells

Never curse, it ain’t nice

Tho’ your blinkin’ nag just lost the rice!

Put in aitches where they ain’t

Beat your Missus with restraint

Mustn’t dunk your cake at tea

Hit’s not done in ‘igh society.

If you meet your lady friend

You must treat ‘er like old china

Never pinch ‘er wee beam end

Tho you should ‘ave a mind ta!

First you tip your topper so

Then you sort of stub your toe

Who on earth could ever tell

I ain’t a bloomin’ swell?

Cheerio!

(Fagin, spoken) All right you lads! Can’t have you hanging around here all day! Go out and earn your keep. Dodger, you take Oliver with you.

Good luck, my dear, on your first job!

(Fagin) Come, boys, it’s time to see what dere’s to be had

Sharp eyes will never miss a thing

Bring back a purse or two

Or jewels an’ some gold will do

I’d welcome a diamond ring.

Cheerio! Cheerio! Boys I weep to see you go but cheerio!

I’ll be worried and despondent till I see what you will bring.

Cheerio! ‘urry up now, Cheerio!

(Dodger) Fagin, it pains us to be up and away

We’d like to stay, but all a same

We’ve got ter ‘ave some fun

An’ give the beaks a run;

You wouldn’t spoil our game!

(Boys Chorus) Cheerio! Cheerio!

We so ‘ate to leave you, friend, but cheerio!

Now don’t worry an’ get nervous, we will all be back in time

Cheerio, dear ol’ Fagin, cheerio!

(Fagin) Boys, you do touch me when I hear how you feel

Your words are fine but ‘ark ter me.

Please don’t procrastinate, just bring back some slipper plite

In time for my afternoon tea.

Cheerio! Cheerio! But be on your way now Cheerio!

If you really love old Fagin, you’ll go out now cheerfully

Cheerio! On your way now! Cheerio!

(Boys) Well, boys, it’s time to see what there’s to be had

Sharp eyes will never miss a thing

We’ll snatch a purse or two

Or jewels an’ some gold will do

O even a diamond ring. Cheerio!

(Fagin) Cheerio!

(boys) We so ‘ate to leave you, friend, but Cheerio!

Now don’t worry and get nervous till you see what we will bring

Cheerio! Dear ol’ Fagin! (Fagin) Cheerio!

Cheerio! Cheerio! You may weep to see us go, but Cheerio!

Now don’t worry and get nervous till you see what we will bring

Cheerio! Dear ol’ Fagin! (All) Cheerio!

Beer, Beer, Glorious Beer

(Toby and the adult chorus)

Beer, Beer, glorious beer

Fill yourselves right up to here

Up with the sale of it

Down with the pail of it

Glorious glorious beer

Beer, Beer, glorious beer

Fill yourselves right up to here

Up with the sale of it

Down with the pail of it

Glorious glorious beer

Now we know who the goddess of wine was

But was there a goddess of beer?

If so, let us drink to her health boys,

And wish that we just got her here.

Here, here

Beer, Beer, glorious beer

Fill yourselves right up to here

Up with the sale of it

Down with the pail of it

Now all together a cheer

Glorious glorious

Glorious glorious beer